


Innocently

by Person



Category: The Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M, Halo Night, Yuletide, challenge:NYR 2009, season two fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-01
Updated: 2009-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-27 00:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Person/pseuds/Person
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had started out completely innocently, but that didn't mean it needed to stay that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Innocently

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lovely Poet](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lovely+Poet).



It had started out in the most innocent way in the world. All she had wanted was to switch up who she teamed up with when she was drawn into Halo Night, because it was starting to feel weirdly like she was somehow leading Leonard on every time she asked for a high-five or, when she managed to kill Sheldon and send him off to his room in a huff in an _especially_ spectacular way, did a little celebratory chair dance that led to her hip bumping against his thigh every time she swayed to the right.

Of course, she hadn't put it that way. She knew going in that she had to be careful or he'd get upset and think that she didn't _want_ to play with him, which was totally wrong (except for that small way in which it was right, just not in a mean way). She made it all about how they'd gotten to be so totally _in synch_ when playing that she thought it might be fun for both of them to team up with somebody they didn't know how to react against with their eyes closed to get their team the win. Of course, that totally backfired and made her feel even _more_ like she was leading him on when she saw his goofy smile as he said, "We are pretty 'in synch', huh?"

Luckily, a second later she was able to forget about it when they all started geeking out about strategy, and how different playing styles complimented each other. And of course Sheldon had to give her an annoying lecture about how the entire point of a versus multiplayer match was to destroy your enemies as efficiently as possible, so that was a completely unreasonable reason to want to switch teammates and further disrupt a playing schedule which had already been thrown off by the addition of a fifth player to their group. Once he was done she had sweetly smiled and said, "You mean you _want_ us to keep kicking your butt?"

And then she'd shot his idling character in the head for good measure. The way he'd glared totally made up for the lecture.

When they finally stopped talking over her head about tactics she'd never heard of (and didn't really care that much about; the only tactic she'd ever needed was 'shoot the other guys a lot' and it was working out well for her so far) and agreed that changing partners for a while could be interesting, there was really only one choice for who she should team up with. At _least_ half the fun of the game was killing Sheldon until he had a snit fit, plus there was no way that she'd be able to stand him ordering her around whenever he thought she _wasn't_ fighting 'as efficiently as possible', so he was right out. And Howard was _Howard_.

Which only left Raj.

So, yeah, it had started totally innocently. And it had been just as innocent when she started making sure they always sat together, either piling onto the two-thirds of the couch that didn't contain Sheldon, or her sitting on the ground next to him or sometimes even perching on the arm of his chair when somebody else had already grabbed a free cushion. She couldn't _help_ it; the guys might not be the most comfortably touchy-feely people in the world, especially with pretty girls, but where _she_ had grown up a vital part of any game were the high-fives and arm bumps and other physical shows of victory whenever you got the upper hand on the other team. Or fragged a character on the TV, same difference.

It didn't _mean_ anything. At least, it wasn't supposed to. The thing was, she'd never really thought about the fact that this was _Raj_. Raj who _never_ communicated with her through anything but sheepish gestures, facial expressions, and the occasional whispered message into somebody else's ear while he was in his right mind during the entire course of their friendship. Raj who had bowled her over more the first time he'd talked to her than any guy she'd ever known, even the focus of her middle school puppy love, Jimmy Peterson, the time he'd suddenly asked her if he could borrow a pencil, just because it was so completely unexpected.

She never thought for a second going in that she'd get that same burst of excitement every time he actually forgot himself enough, just for a second now and then, to initiate one of those victory high-fives without flinching back into himself even as he made contact with her. She never thought that it would make her stomach flip-flop, just a little bit, every time he got caught up in the game enough to laugh, or wordlessly cheer, or, really, make _any_ sound that wasn't a small whimper or high-pitched squeak while she was sitting close enough to him for their knees to be bumping.

Then one Wednesday, in the middle of an especially impressive night of ass-kicking, she found herself thinking _God, Penny, you're reacting to him like a twelve-year-old with a crush_ , and her brain had kind of switched off for a while as she realized that, yeah, that was _exactly_ what the butterflies in her stomach reminded her of.

She didn't let herself think about it anymore until later that night when she was safely back in her apartment. Okay, she thought, if she was _going_ to mentally regress into an adolescent--an adolescent who was spending way too much time around her group of weird geniuses if her mind picked _that_ as the way to phrase it instead of just 'act like a kid'--Raj wasn't actually a bad choice. Okay, so he really needed a better haircut and advice from a stylist, but _all_ of the guys needed that. And two minutes with a pair of tweezers would do his eyebrows a world of good. But on the plus side, if somebody would just explain to him that sweater vests were a look that only sitcom dads from the fifties could pull off he actually came pretty close to dressing like a normal person most of the time. And he _did_ have pretty great eyes, which it was hard not to notice when she had to stay focused on them if she ever wanted to know how he was feeling. And he never ever made her feel stupid for being the only person with normal-level smarts in their group, which had as much to do with his expressions when she didn't know who Alexander Poly-whosit was or why Einstein had a bridge as it did with his silence. That didn't even change during those rare times when he could talk to her; the only person he made look stupid when he was drunk was himself.

And from there it wasn't much of a jump to start thinking that just because it had started out completely innocently it didn't need to stay that way, did it?

Okay, there were reasons that it should. One sweet and dorky reason who wouldn't be happy if anything happened between her and one of his friends in particular, but _that_ reason had dated since the one time they went out and really should be getting over it. Anyway, what were the chances of anything that would really be worth getting upset about happening between her and somebody who couldn't even open his mouth around her?

Of course, two years ago she would have said there was no chance somebody who couldn't even open his mouth around her would ever have a shot at becoming one of her close friends, but she tried _not_ to think about how bizarre her social life had gotten ever since she'd moved into her apartment.

She didn't let herself feel guilty when she excused herself at the same time as Raj the next time they spent the evening hanging around Leonard and Sheldon's place. She didn't let herself think about the look Leonard would have on his face if he happened to open the door after it shut behind them and saw her reach out to grab Raj's arm before he could take off down the stairs. It wasn't any of his business.

"Hey, Raj? I've been thinking, would you like to do something someday? Just you and me?" she asked, flashing him her brightest someday-starlet smile. When the expression on his face turned into panic she was quick to reassure him, "Oh, sweetie, don't worry. I mean something like see a movie; no talking needed.

It was always interesting to watch him trying to communicate with her. He looked at Leonard's door. He looked at her. He waved one hand in a gesture that indicated both of them. He scrunched up his face, his lips pulling away from his teeth like he was _really_ trying hard to force some sort of reply out. And then he finally slumped in defeat and nodded his agreement without saying a word, although the hesitant smile on his face more than made up for his silence.

"Great!" she said, clapping her hands together. "Next time you're here I can pull out the movie section on the newspaper and you can circle whatever you'd be interested in seeing. Or you can just email me. Whatever would be easier for you." Then she let her smile soften, changing it into something gentler just for him. "And really, sweetie, it's okay if you don't even try to say a word to me. Don't you think I'm used to it by now?"

  



End file.
